The concept of a circle of influence has been around for a while. For me, Stephen Covey’s description was the most influential. Just in case some of my readers have not had much thought time with the concept, your circle of influence incorporates those people, organizations and circumstances you are able to influence in some way.

Each of us, as individuals, or even as a business/organization, has some control over expanding or contracting our circle of influence. Obviously, for growth to take place, the expansion of your circle of influence is important, as long as it is for the right reasons.

Breaking things down to a simplistic philosophical level, I see four sets of opposing forces at work. Each set is made up of a quality that will expand your circle of influence and a quality that will contract it. These are:

Self-honesty/Self-deceit
Reality centered/Self-centered
Self-confidence/ Self-doubt
Self-Esteem/Self-condescension

Bear in mind that balance is important in any relationship and the same is true here. Going too far in the direction of self-honesty, for example, can be as bad for you as practicing self-deceit. Our wishes and dreams are not always in the realm of reality, but can still be used to give direction and motivation to our lives.

Being honest with yourself is critical for any forward progress with your personal life. If you consider a business/organization a self-contained entity, the same relationship to forward progress applies. Being honest with yourself allows you to make quality decisions based upon facts and the truth. The fear of the facts, or the truth, is a sign of deception and untrustworthiness that will contract your circle of influence. No matter how hard you try to hide it, others can see right through you.

Being reality centered means realizing that you are very seldom at the center of the universe, as a person or as a business/organization. Actually, in the human experience, the center of universe changes along with circumstances and priorities. When others see a reality base perspective about what is important, your circle of influence grows because trust and confidence in your opinions and perspectives grows. When others see a consistent self-centered perspective, your circle of influence shrinks along with trust in your opinions and perspectives.

It is difficult to make quality decisions when you doubt yourself. Whereas it is prudent to evaluate your abilities in specific circumstances, to always doubt yourself is not. Just think of how the world would be different if people like Edison or Einstein let self-doubt prevent them from making bold statements and decisions. On the other hand, being over confident has its own problems. People want to be lead either directly or indirectly, so they pay more attention to self-confident people and pity those lost in self-doubt. Your circle of influence expands with self-confidence until the tipping point of arrogance is reached.

I consider self-esteem to be one of the most important of human perspectives. It is the firewall that allows you to operate interdependently with others in our social network. When self-esteem is healthy, you are not nearly as dependent on other people’s opinion or criticisms of you. When self-esteem is low (self-condescending), your voice joins other voices in criticizing and bullying you. The resiliency that comes with good self-esteem expands your circle of influence because others appreciate your emotional strength and stability.

All of this can be state in a unified way. Being honest, confident, grounded and emotionally strong will expend you circle of influence. This expansion results in more opportunity on multiple levels.