Much of our frustration with personal development comes from our failure to establish short term goals.  This frustration springs from a failure to understand that the learning and development of skills is typically an evolutionary process.  Your brain learns by building neural connections over time, by way of practice and integration into your current understandings and skills.

Maybe you want to learn to play a musical instrument. The first day you pick up the instrument, you will not play it like a virtuoso.  You correct for this by expecting a certain level of accomplishment for each practice.  Meeting this goal gives you a positive view of your efforts.  You repeat this cycle over and over again, like climbing a ladder.

The excuse, “It’s too hard”, is usually based upon unrealistic daily or weekly goals. It is exceptionally difficult to eat the elephant in one bite.  You have to break it down into manageable pieces.

Another example might be reading a text book.  Your goal for the week may be, “I need to know Chapter 5 for a test this Friday”, but what is today’s goal, tomorrow’s goal, and so on?  If you want to feel good about your progress, divide and conquer the material.

• I need to understand section 5.1, Monday.
• I need to understand sections 5.1 and 5.2, Tuesday.
• I need to understand sections 5.1, 5.2 and 5.3, Wednesday.
• I need to understand sections 5.1, 5.2, 5.3 and 5.4, Thursday.
• I need to be ready to take the test Friday at 2 PM.

This process allows you to feel a sense of accomplishment every day. Your focus is on what you need to accomplish right now, instead of what is needed for the entire week.  A smaller bite yields a less stressful and more fulfilling experience.  It also allows the pieces of the material you are learning right now to “sink in” before you learn the next piece (text books are written around this type of learning model).

Here is how you do it. If I am asking for 3 ½ hours of your time per week to work on something, that is only 30 minutes a day.  Thirty minutes a day is easier to manage than 3 ½ hours at one time, and it is more effective.

If you are learning golf, taking a long trip, learning a new skill, etc., break the whole into pieces. Then you can knock them out one at a time until you reach your goal.  This involves living in the moment.

• In golf, you can’t hit the ball like a pro, who is hitting at least 100 practice balls a day, by hitting 50 competition balls a week.
• You can only drive the stretch of road you are on, no matter how much you want to think about the last mile of your trip.
• You break old habits, and form new habits, by repetitive actions and thoughts.
• You learn new skills by practice.

You can institutionalize imperfection by practicing something imperfectly, thereby making a bad habit.  You can institutionalize perfection by practicing something perfectly, thereby making a good habit.  Have you ever seen someone with perfect form, great patience, or great instincts?  They got there by way of perfect practice. The training of their mind and body to accomplish the goal right in front of them.